Scans › Is my partner a narcissist? › The Green Flag
Your partner scans as
The Green Flag
LOW TRAITS · SHARES THE SPOTLIGHT
The pattern here is healthy. Your partner can share the spotlight, hears you when you’re hurting, and doesn’t keep score. Nobody is perfect, but none of the big warning signs are lighting up.
Typical trait profile for this readout. Your own scan will differ.
THE SHARED READOUT
WHAT TIPPED IT · THEIR ANSWERS
What this readout means
Narcissistic traits sit on a spectrum everyone is on. A low readout means the four signals this scan watches for, grandiosity, entitlement, an empathy gap, and manipulation, showed up rarely or not at all in the behavior you described. That is the profile of someone who can be wrong, be told so, and stay kind about it.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
- Keep naming what works. Healthy partners are reinforced by being noticed.
- If one answer still nags at you, talk about that one thing directly.
- Retake this in a few months if things shift.
WHAT TO SAY · SCRIPTS FOR THIS READOUT
How to raise it
- “I want to say this out loud: the way you listened to me last night meant a lot to me.”
- “There’s one small thing that’s been sitting with me. Can I bring it up without it becoming a big deal?”
- “When I was upset on Sunday, I felt a little brushed off. I’d like to talk about it.”
How to set the line
- “I need us to keep doing the thing where we both get airtime. It’s working and I want to protect it.”
- “If I say I’m hurt, I need you to ask about it before you explain. That’s all I’m asking.”
- “Let’s agree we can each name one thing a week without it turning into a fight.”
When they push back
- “I’m not saying you did something terrible. I’m telling you how it landed so we can fix it.”
- “I hear that you didn’t mean it that way. Can we still talk about how it felt?”
- “This isn’t a verdict on you. It’s one moment, and I’d rather say it than store it.”
Say them in your own words. The point is to have something ready before the conversation, not to read from a card.
Your full readout, as a PDF
A clean, printable report of this scan: the personal readout, trait chart, every answer, what it means, the three scripts and the reading. Keep it, or hand it to a therapist.
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The other readouts on this scan