Scans › What’s my attachment style? › Pair scan
Person A
The Anchor
Together you scan as
The Open Door
SECURE + AVOIDANT · SPACE WITHOUT THE CHASE
The Fortress needs air and the Anchor gives it without making it mean anything. Nobody chases, so nobody has to run. The walls come down slower than the Anchor might like, but they come down, because for once closeness isn’t arriving as pressure.
Person B
The Fortress
A · READOUT
B · READOUT
What this pairing means
Avoidant people soften with partners who don’t pursue, and secure partners are the ones who can tolerate distance without panic. This pairing has good outcomes in the research, second only to secure-secure. Where it goes wrong: the Anchor does all the emotional labor, keeps the relationship warm on their own, and eventually gets tired of being the only one who reaches. The Fortress has to learn to reach back, in small doses, on purpose.
WHAT THE TWO OF YOU CAN DO
- Fortress: initiate one moment of closeness a week that the Anchor didn’t ask for.
- Anchor: track whether you’re carrying the whole thing. If you are, say it plainly.
- Make space explicit. “I need an evening” beats disappearing, and it costs nothing.
Read each archetype on its own
All 10 pairings on this scan