Relationship scan · 04

Is my ex a covert narcissist?

Covert narcissists don’t look like narcissists. They look wounded, misunderstood, and quietly disappointed in you. Fifteen questions about how your ex actually operated, now that you’re out.

15 QUESTIONS · ~3 MIN · NOTHING LEAVES YOUR BROWSER

How this scan works

Four traits, 15 questions, one readout.

Every question feeds one of the trait meters. Your total across all of them sets the readout band, and when one trait clearly dominates it can tip the result on its own. The archetypes are plain-language summaries of trait combinations described in published personality research, not clinical labels.

  • Victim stance4 questions
  • Passive aggression4 questions
  • Fragile ego4 questions
  • Quiet control3 questions

Frequently asked

What is a covert narcissist?

A covert, or vulnerable, narcissist has the same self-focus and lack of empathy as the loud kind but expresses it through fragility, victimhood and passive aggression instead of swagger. They tend to look sensitive and wounded from the outside, which makes the pattern hard to name.

Why does it feel worse after the breakup?

Covert control runs on guilt, and guilt doesn’t stop when the relationship does. Many people report months of feeling responsible for an ex’s wellbeing or reputation. That lingering guilt is one of the clearest markers that the pattern was real.

Is my answer data stored?

No. Scoring happens entirely in your browser and nothing is sent anywhere. Close the tab and it is gone.

More scans

Relationship scan · 01Is my partner a narcissist?15 questions · 4 readouts
Relationship scan · 02Am I in a toxic relationship?15 questions · 4 readouts
Reality scan · 03Am I being gaslit?15 questions · 4 readouts
Workplace scan · 05Is my boss a narcissist?15 questions · 4 readouts
Workplace scan · 06Is my coworker manipulating me?15 questions · 4 readouts
Self scan · 07What’s my attachment style?15 questions · 4 readouts
Self scan · 08Am I the narcissist?15 questions · 4 readouts
Self scan · 09Dark triad test: which shadow is yours?15 questions · 4 readouts
Relationship scan · 10Was I love-bombed?15 questions · 4 readouts