Scans › Is my partner a narcissist? › Pair scan

PAIR SCAN · PARTNER NARCISSIST SCANHEAT 3/5

How A sees B

The Green Flag

Together you scan as

The One-Way Street

GREEN + MONARCH · ONE FEELS SAFE, ONE FEELS SMALL

Workable

One of you looked at the other and saw someone kind, fair and easy to be wrong with. The other looked back and saw entitlement, thin empathy and apologies with conditions. The gap between those two pictures is the finding: somebody in this relationship is doing most of the adjusting.

▶ Run a pair scan

How B sees A

The Mirror Monarch

What this pairing means

When one partner reads as a Green Flag and the other as a Mirror Monarch, the asymmetry is the point: the low-trait partner is likely accommodating enough that the high-trait partner experiences the relationship as smooth. Research on these pairs shows the accommodating partner’s needs going unmet long before conflict shows it. It isn’t a control pattern yet, since manipulation didn’t dominate. But it’s a one-way street, and the person who rated their partner high should trust that read.

WHAT THE TWO OF YOU CAN DO

  • Monarch-rated partner: ask what you’d have to change for them to answer differently. Then do one of those things.
  • Green-flag partner: keep a private note of incidents. Patterns are easier to see written down.
  • Compare the two readouts together, line by line, and treat the disagreement as the conversation.

Read each archetype on its own

All 10 pairings on this scan