Scans › Is my partner a narcissist? › Pair scan
How A sees B
The Spotlight Hog
Together you scan as
Loud Meets Entitled
SPOTLIGHT + MONARCH · ONE WANTS PRAISE, ONE WANTS TRIBUTE
One of you sees a partner who likes attention; the other sees a partner who expects it and gets cold when it doesn’t come. The readings agree on the appetite and disagree on the severity. Somebody is bringing entitlement and an empathy gap, and the other person is the one who feels it.
How B sees A
The Mirror Monarch
A · READOUT
B · READOUT
What this pairing means
A spotlight reading paired with a monarch reading suggests both partners have some grandiosity, but one of them also runs entitlement and a thinner empathy. The person who rated their partner as the Monarch is describing a one-way street: their needs negotiable, their partner’s not. Research shows entitlement predicts conflict over fairness more than any other trait. It’s workable because manipulation didn’t dominate either reading, but it needs the higher-rated partner to hear the difference between liking praise and demanding it.
WHAT THE TWO OF YOU CAN DO
- Monarch-rated partner: apologize once this week without a “but”. Notice how hard it is.
- Spotlight-rated partner: keep a private note of who adjusts for whom. Read it in a month.
- Both: a therapist can help sort out whose picture is closer to the truth, and it’s probably both.
Read each archetype on its own
All 10 pairings on this scan