Scans › Is my partner a narcissist? › Pair scan
How A sees B
The Spotlight Hog
Together you scan as
The Double Spotlight
SPOTLIGHT + SPOTLIGHT · YOU BOTH WANT THE ROOM
Each of you looked at the other and saw someone who fishes for praise and steers the story back to themselves. Neither saw cruelty or control. So you’re two performers who both feel slightly unheard, and both are, for the same reason: you’re waiting to talk.
How B sees A
The Spotlight Hog
A · READOUT
B · READOUT
What this pairing means
Mutual spotlight readings describe a loud, competitive, basically decent relationship. Two people who each rate the other as attention-seeking are usually both right, and the shared complaint, nobody listens, is the whole problem. Research on grandiosity in couples finds it manageable when manipulation is absent, which it is here. It goes right when you turn the competition outward and take turns being the audience, and wrong when every evening is a contest for a spotlight only one of you can hold.
WHAT THE TWO OF YOU CAN DO
- Whoever has the win gets the evening. Say whose night it is before you go out.
- Each of you asks three real questions before telling a story. Count them if you have to.
- Compare your readouts. You accused each other of the same thing, which is funny and useful.
Read each archetype on its own
All 10 pairings on this scan